The levels of auctioneering expertise across Australasia were put through a true test of resilience at the Crown Casino in Melbourne earlier this month. The Australasian Auctioneering championship saw the cream of 5 states, 2 territories and New Zealand assembled in front of large crowds, who witnessed a thrilling final, which was literally in the balance until about 90 seconds from its conclusion.

That final brought the curtain down on a spectacular 2 days of yelling. Initially Grace Nankivell of Pulteney Grammar School in Adelaide took out the inaugural Auction Idol competition in a close fought scrap between 4 females from South Australia and Victoria. The handing over of the Huon pine box to last year’s senior champion is a tradition which has gained momentum over recent times and this took place after a quirky barrier draw for the main comp. 2013 champ Daniel Coulson left the box in Auckland, but hastily arranged to have it arrive just in the nick of time for the passing to 2014 guru Andrew North.

The following morning saw the 16 seniors go head to head in a day of heats which preceded Thursday’s final. These heats are a compelling day of intrigue, thrust, counter thrust and repetition. With the priority on very little variation in the bidding sequence, only the addicts can sit through a whole day. By the time Northern Territory’s two lads (at #15 and #16) finished up, the Carlton Draught was flowing freely. Damien Cooley from Sydney won best-dressed in a stunning double-breasted ensemble out of Double Bay, while one bidder was told that “Rembrandt, you aren’t out of the picture yet”. The day featured mentions of a mystery ailment called the Bansdale Ulcer (apparently not to be confused with Belconnen Hemmorhoids). We were told that the yard of the Pt Lonsdale property being auctioned was 30 perches, had more greenery than a Willie Nelson tour bus and that the offering was as rare as rocking horse poo, or indeed, as a brain cell in the Collingwood supporter’s club (whatever that means). Equally confusing was being told, that the rip off the local beach is the quickest way to Launceston!

Many of the callers found a way to confuse a straightforward bidding sequence, to the extent where only AJ Colman from South Australia and Mark Larmer from ACT could maybe consider themselves a touch unlucky to not make the final 5. In the end there were very few opposed to the announcement from Chief judge Neil Laws, that both NSW reps, Damien Cooley and Ed Riley were through, along with the hometown boy Harry Li and a brace of Kiwis, being John Bowring and the defending champ “Northy”.

The New Zealanders were probably slight favourites to get their 8th win in the last decade, but Cooley and Li had been in 5 previous finals between them (without success). Bowring and Riley were first timers at the big deal. With close on 40 supporters having crossed the Tasman, optimism was high that the Bledsloe of auctioneering would again be on NZ124. The exclusion of Queensland was frustrating as they feature several of Australia’s best, while NZ again featured two of the finalists, for the 9th time in the last 10 years.

The Brighton property up for sale offered a myriad of extras for these classy orators to prove their worths. Bowring hit the ground running with a compelling performance. He probably had the neutrals’ support as he takes no prisoners in his style, is quirky with his comments and in auctioneering parlance, is not afraid to take a risk. In response to a female bidder’s question about issues surrounding her husband’s delay in attending, he chirped that he “didn’t know any husband who really had a say in proceedings”. He roamed the stage in a commanding manner and put the bar at a decent old level during the sale of a property with “a kaleidoscope of garden features”.

The vertically challenged Cooley entered the auditorium chanting an old auction, which turned out to be the sale of the very property 21 years earlier. This strategy fetched varying opinions from the experts in attendance. It was described as risky, unnecessary, brave, gold, or tacky. Bravery can be a useful attribute in these finals and he got it about right. Apparently the kitchen possessed a “3-chook St George oven” and Cooley used momentum and aggression to put together what was probably his best performance in his 4th finals’ appearance. A late vendor bid when the auction stymied was a major talking point. The noise in the crowd of around 250 was that it was neck and neck after two.

North has ridiculous composure and his ability to unfold his entire property description without reference to any notes was staggering, given that he had only seen the property 4 hours earlier. It felt as though he held the lead at the halfway mark in his call. Incorporating a byline from a nursery rhyme “mirror mirror on the wall” to describe a reflective pane of glass by the swimming pool, had the punters in raptures. He described the house as “honest” and “better being sold unstaged in the winter, as its attributes stood out like beacons”. Despite his obvious warmth and that engaging smile, he came unstuck on a couple of curly bids and the general consensus was that he might be a very close 3rd at this stage.

Sydneysider Riley was probably the outsider of the field prior to the off, but he put up a sterling performance, wooing the crowd with his one-liners. His somewhat repetitive strolling of the stage belied an intensity which most thought beyond him. Lo and behold, just when everyone was sharpening their pencils to put a big circle around his name, he suggested that he would “let the property go” and then when he realised that he hadn’t reached the reserve, about 5 seconds later added the word “shortly”. It was probably a fatal mistake in the competition parameters and despite cleverly extricating himself, one could see a couple of the judges sit bolt upright and start practising a straight line rather than an oval.

It left the door open for Li. The human calculator from Springvale jested with the crowd, promoting Kermit the frog in his opening line. His property description was adequate without being a world-beater and yet he seemed to be accumulating those vital laughs from his hometown crowd. He took them with him on his ride, handled the questions with appreciation, proximity and genuine closure and his arithmetic was metronomic and varied, yet arrogant in its accuracy. He made a vital move on a technicality when bidding stalled late in proceedings and although he had a minor blemish right at the death, he sold to a rapturous round of applause, especially from his fans all wearing the same tie as him – albeit a tacky paisley number out of Collins Street.

The 4 hour wait for the announcement of the winner seemed to take forever. If proof was ever needed that “perfect practice makes perfect”, the compulsive trainer Harry Li was rightly awarded the 17th Australasian Auctioneering title, thereby becoming the 6th Victorian winner, just one shy of those pesky Kiwis.