As agents, we work in a pressure cooker environment. The roller coaster of real estate requires we balance a complex collision of customer emotions, motivations and agendas on a daily basis. We need to be excellent salespeople, property managers, diplomats, renovation consultants, and reassuringly hold people's hands through some of the most challenging moments of their lives. We work hard to establish a good personal profile, and naturally we're fiercely protective of that hard won reputation. 

So when a disgruntled customer attacks that reputation via social media, with deliberately misleading or downright false information, it can be tempting to hit back with your side of the story, highlighting a few facts that they might find embarrassing. Don't get mad, and don't get even. No matter how angry you may be, you need to respond, not react. There's a big difference. Social media offers you the opportunity to take the moral high ground, or to add to the damage permanently.

With vendors researching their marketplace an average of 19 days, before selecting an agent to request an appraisal, you need to make sure your response is pitch perfect, rather than pitch fork. Building trust with future customers online is your goal, so you need to know when to respond, how to respond, or when to back away.

12 tips for responding to negative commentary

1. Don't get defensive about negative reviews. Even if the consumer is completely wrong, everyone has a bad day and this may have been his or hers. It’s vital to rise above the fight response.

2. Never draft a response when you’re mad. Unless you judge the consumer's comments have the potential to escalate virally, seek advice, draft your response and have someone else read it before posting.  

3. Remember, your response will be read by more than just your nemesis. Over the months and years, it will be seen by hundreds or thousands of potential customers, thereby influencing their decision-making.  It’s arguable that the content of your response is more important than most of content on your website – it deserves serious thought.

4. Thank reviewers for their review. It takes time to leave comments, no matter how destructive.  In doing so, they give you a chance to shine by responding with skill, rather than running for cover.  Some reviews will be nothing more than vindictive rants, and that's clear to most readers. 

5. Keep it short and sweet. Don’t write a novel, just capture the sentiment, transfer the emotion and move on.

6. Aim to avoid detailed discussion online. Provide a response in public view, and then indicate your preference to resolve the matter to their satisfaction, person to person.  

7. Don’t get personal, even if they did. Sometimes reviewers write when they’re ticked off, and they attack specific employees of your company.  Simply mark these as inappropriate and use your established editorial process to remove them. It's not appropriate to make allegations and/or name employees online - your Facebook 'house rules' should state this.

8. Set ground rules with staff. There should be an agreed process, which everybody understands. 

9. No gifts. When you have got something wrong, don’t provide any freebies in your responses such as gift certificates etc.  This reads like bribery. A public thank you for bringing a service shortfall to your attention, and an indication that you appreciate the opportunity to improve, is sufficient.

10. Take ownership. You are responsible for your reputation and sometimes business isn't fair.  You own both the issue and the complainant a respectful response - and that's how you want it to be seen by future readers.

11. Nobody’s perfect; people know that.  You are speaking to future customers at this moment. It’s okay to humanise the situation, apologise, and admit you made a mistake.

12. Have supporting content ready. If you refer to policies or 'house rules' regarding your complaints process, make them easy to find.  An easy-to-navigate FAQ page on your website or Facebook page helps demonstrate that you are not acting arbitrarily, in the event that you do need to delete and block someone (in the case of Facebook).

Sometimes, there is no response that will make the customer happy.  That’s life. You should still tell the customer you appreciate them and wish things had turned out differently.  Don't forget you can ask customers who feel their issue has been resolved to go and add another comment to their review. You shouldn’t ask them to remove what they wrote, but perhaps append a resolution to the end and consider re-rating your company.  This is a slippery slope – as you don’t want it to feel like they are in debt somehow.  But if an entire review is based on a misunderstanding, or a special case that is unlikely to happen again, many customers will be willing to give you another chance.